Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Can a white person wear a bonnet to bed?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Artists get better with age, e.g., painting. Yet when it comes to pop music, the famous work tends to be written when musicians are in their twenties. So, why aren't Bob Dylan or the Stones banging out amazing tunes now?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for traitorism

The Witcher 4 is built for console first, CDPR confirms 60FPS is not guaranteed - TweakTown

I actually pay taxes

I see through liars

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Microsoft surprises MS-DOS fans with remake of ancient text editor that works on Linux - Ars Technica

I understand how hurricane paths work

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have a reading level above third grade

Steve Jobs was brilliant but don’t copy this 'one habit' of him; warns Pixar's Pete Docter - Times of India

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Mysterious 'runner' dinosaur a sign there are more Jurassic secrets to unlock beneath western US - Live Science

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t cotton to rapists

I can read

What are tips for weight loss?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Gucci Owner Picks Auto Executive for One of Global Luxury’s Top Jobs - WSJ

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Which type of physical cable has fastest transmission speed?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Dark matter 'lampshades' dimming stars could solve one of the greatest scientific mysteries - Space

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Fog of trade war hangs over economy, but the Fed still has to make a forecast. Here’s what it’s faces. - MarketWatch

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I can count

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”